Are we friends?

With everything going on lately I've come to find out that having a friend to talk to is important. I don't really keep any around though thats the problem. I lost one of my closest friends recently and that really really sucks. Its little conversations that come up everyday that I remember alot. I don't think there is a way for me to say anything that would describe what is going on. I can understand if someone wants to be alone and maybe I am a little too pushy at times, but I'M ALWAYS THERE. I'll still be here, whenever you need me and even if you don't. I really just want my friend back, the conversations and stuff. I almost feel like a gypsy and getting pushed away makes it feel worse. She always said your not gypsy.