Okay, I've come to the conclusion that maybe I do have too much on my plate. I'm getting to that point where it feels like I don't know where to start and having that feeling of being overwhelmed and unsure.
The unsure part comes from I don't know where....maybe I do....with the comics. Can I do this again? am I ready? am I gonna put it down like I want to? Pushing so hard is getting me frustrated, and again ultimatley unsure. Its not a feeling I'm neither good or familiar with, so I know I don't like it. Then these quotes pop in my head "Shutup and draw", "If you're not getting hated on, you're not doing shit".I'm pushing and I'm pushing and then I have to deal with other things that require my attention. I don't know. It feels like I'm coming up with every excuse not to put it down (on the page). I do know I wanna give them something to be excited about, maybe I should start by getting myself excited....and I am to a degree.
Overwhelmed........again too much stuff. I've actually started telling people no on artwork.I've gotta catch up. If they want it that bad they can wait, bad philosophy but definitely good enough to get rid of the people not serious enough to whip out the cash. Sorry sounds rude, but I really don't have the time for it. Sometimes it feels like I take jobs on to make sure EVERYONE has what they need, kind of loses the fun side sometimes--makes it feel like.........I paint FOR money. Don't get me wrong, I've never had the starving artist problem (thank God), but I do see some artists that paint for paints sake and come out with awesome stuff, stuff that's fun---and there's me. I can do the same if not better than they can, and I'm restricted by some of the jobs I take on. Oh well.
The "shut up and draw" comes to mind right now. I'm whining and I've got nothing to whine about. I'm just tired and need a nice hot bath and nap.....but if I did that again no work gets done. So I'll keep pushing, I'll deal with it......besides....real legends push till it gets harder and then they push more to see what they're made of. If it was easy everyone would do it. I'm not done yet and I'm not giving up,....I'm not stopping......I'm just startin' sucka foo!!!!
