KICK ME

Wow, How many times can a person get knocked down in a month, a week, even a day. I think every time I turn around something or someone is just right there to just hold up a no thanks sign. I'm tired and I don't want to get into this a lot but, I did care a lot for Dora....still do. But I'm not it apparently. Being there for her, helping when I could, listening things like this just aren't enough for a relationship I guess. I had it all wrong. Going on to my friend Emily the Pea, it was good to hear from her and maybe we should leave it at that. Lets see what else......oh yeah finalizing everything in my previous marriage (last one wasn't that bad). I'm just dragging honestly...going through motions......and eventually I'll get angrier. I was pumped a couple of days ago, and then that shot just dropped in again at me.

My ex suggested I go to counseling for depression. I've been on such a high for so long its really crazy to deal with, I guess it wouldn't be so bad if there was someone there...but there isn't. The way she explained it its better for me instead of staying in my gallery or home just reflecting and thinking about it. Like I said somewhere I don't carry a lot of people around me, like none at all. So its just me. After a while I suppose you can get used to that.

I don't eat a lot lately, sleep is non-existent, I'm friendless (really actually I don't hang out with people), I 'm not feeling my work or my paintings. To hell with it, Fuck everyone..........cheers to everyone, some good whiskey for me and a nice big Have a nice life to everyone. I'll see you on the other-side. STILL can't believe I got kicked out of another church, though. What is that 3 times. Who does that???? Oh well Die Laughing assholes. I gonna drink myself into a coma.