................I shouldn't have left you. Not without a dope beat to step to. Alright enough of that. Had some progress and set backs this week. Work wise I can still bring them in, I've got some pieces that need to get done for the shop and private clients. I won't be doing the day of the dead show for different reasons, but that's cool it was more of a fun thing to do anyway. Personally that's another story. I swear I've gotta look like a light switch. Just in the way I get turned on and off. Its a big thing and not a big thing. You know after talking more to her and figuring out where EXACTLY she is coming from, there is somewhat of an understanding. I think she's scared of a real relationship.
She needs me to stay away for a bit,sucks I know, she needs to think. There is that and you know problems with school and money and stuff. So I figured I'd help. Maybe take some of the weight or stuff off her plate. Free up some time for her. I think I took most of it away for the time being. Which would give room for me and her....yeah not quite. I think we're at that stage in our relationship that is right before that next level. Thing is she has a guilt thing going. I'm a big secret and that kills her. Thing is I've made a conscious decision to try and fit better into her world to make it easier to introduce me in some manner. Even as a friend then eventually when people get to know me and are comfortable with me, we could date somewhat publicly. (even though its been going for a year). I guess she doesn't see all that. I know she wants to see me, the other thing I had to explain is why is it that she doesn't think she cares about me all the time. You know what that's a relationship. When you're with friends or doing something else, you're not supposed to think about that person 24-7. You kill the relationship like that. It's when you get together that pulls it all together. I want the relationship, so does she....but if I make the effort to really fit in her world she has to at least invite me or introduce me to her people as a friend and let time work from there.
The other thing is she wants a sign from God that this thing is something, thing is everything that pops in her face that is a good thing she dismisses. She just throws it to the side as coincidence. I didn't get to do half the stuff in my life by ignoring little signs, or gut feelings. I'm here, I'm waiting....she needs a couple of days....lets see if she finds me.
